Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
