I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
