i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
did you just send me my own nude
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
