I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
