Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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