Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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