There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
