I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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