so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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