I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
