bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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