coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
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