Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
