The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize