One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Operation Purity has been aborted
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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