So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
