end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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