she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize