Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
