I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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