I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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