Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
