No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
