While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
