My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
