So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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