I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
