It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize