I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
