cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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