yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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