is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
