Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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