But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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