I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
