Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Damn victory sex feels great
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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