...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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