She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
