I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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