So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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