every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
