one might say we're banned from that church
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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