i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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