It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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