GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
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