Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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