Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize