This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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