You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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