She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
