Your mouth is God's brothel.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
