Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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