If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
