google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
