I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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