Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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