yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
i wish my penis had a tongue
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
