You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
