do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
