im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
