this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
