you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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