That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
