PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
