He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
They have beer where we have blood.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
