saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
