Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
