Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
