i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize