So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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