I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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