i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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