i need an iv and a liver transplant
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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