S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
